What Is A Friend

Does such a thing even exist in today's society? I' m seriously beginning to have my doubts.

I was raised with the belief that if you treated others with kindness and compassion, honesty and respect,genuine concern for their well- being then that is how others would treat you. I'm sad to say that I just don't believe that this is true today. I'm even more saddened to confess that it probably never was!

It seems as though there is always a price to pay for the "friendship" that we all appear to offer. Is there such a thing as "unconditional love". Even parents put conditions on their children today; using emotional blackmail or threatening to kick them out ,cut them out of the will, what-have-you if they don't conform to what is expected of them! I'm lucky in that respect, my mother loves me even though I disappointed her in a big way! But there are still "conditions" to her love and acceptance . These are not of her choosing and I know she is riddled with guilt and shame when she feels forced to impose the "rules" on me. But given her situation....she doesn't really have any choice..... I understand this. But I cannot sit by while somebody ,anybody, bullies or controls another human being, regardless of the consequences! And so , because of this I stay away, which is wrong but the alternative is worse.

My mother should be either canonized as a Saint or taken to some secret lab for observation.
She is about the only person I know who refuses to believe that there are some people who are just not deserving of her being. She doesn't stick her head in the sand , and she's not the Queen of denial....Quite the opposite: she is fully aware of the evil-doings but chooses to love the evil-doer anyways. I used to be like this-I got it from my momma!- but I have been tarnished to the point that I am alwys looking for the ulterior motive . I wish that I didn't feel this way. I long to be Pollyana once again but I have seen too much selfishness and manipulation for this to ever be possible!

It only enrages me now when I witness the atrocities that people inflict upon each other under the guise of "friendship"; ultimatums , rejecting, bad-mouthing, meddling... all out of concern of course! Tough love, reality check, scared straight! These are convenient excuses to manipulate a loved one into doing what "you" think is right for them! But it seems there is always something to be gained by the concerned party.

Not to be disrespectful, but I'm sure there were days when even Mother Teresa just did not feel like getting out of bed; days when maybe she didn't like the person she felt compelled to help. perhaps more than once she did her good deeds out of obligation while resenting the fact that she was missing the "Movie of the week" that she had planned to watch until some bum couldn't wait another couple of hours before crying out for attention. She was human after all.... who was there for her? Why did she do it then... maybe thats what made her happy, maybe she was somewhat of a Martyr, perhaps she was paying her penance for what she considered an unatoneable sin? It's a given that we will never know WHY but it is also a given that she got SOMETHING out of it.

So I ask the question ."Is there any such thing as a truly selfless act?" I personally don't believe so.............But if there was ever a person who was capable of performing one , it would be my Mother.

My one true "friend"
And I love her , unconditionally
As long as she listens to me and takes my expert advice! ;-)